Discernment Counseling
Unsure About Divorce?
Discernment Counseling Can Help You Find Clarity
When one of you is leaning out and the other wants to work it out, this structured short-term process helps you decide what’s next in a safe space.
Feeling Stuck Between Staying and Leaving
You are facing one of the hardest decisions in life when you ask yourself,“Should I stay in my marriage or move toward divorce?”
You're not alone. Many couples arrive at this painful crossroads, with one partner leaning out and the other leaning in.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Unlike traditional couples therapy, Discernment Counseling is not about fixing the relationship. It’s about helping both of you decide whether to try couples counseling, move toward separation, or take more time for reflection.
It’s designed for couples where:
One partner is seriously considering divorce
The other partner wants to preserve the relationship
Both are willing to seek clarity and make a wise and respectful decision
What to Expect in Sessions
Brief & Focused
We’ll remain committed to the goal of gaining clarity and confidence. Couples typically accomplish this in 1 to 5 sessions.
Structured Format
Each session includes individual conversations with each partner and a shared time to gain mutual understanding.
Safe Support
Whether you're leaning in or out, you will be heard and supported in a balanced and compassionate space.
For the Leaning Out Spouse
You may feel overwhelmed, unsure, or emotionally done. You’re not pressured to “fix” anything in Discernment Counseling. You’re invited to sort out what you truly want.
“I help leaning-out partners find clarity without guilt, pressure, or false hope.”
For the Leaning In Spouse
You may want to repair the relationship but don’t know how to reach your spouse. Discernment Counseling helps you share your heart calmly and constructively.
“I help leaning-in partners express themselves with hope,
but without pushing.”
Meet Your Counselor
Chip Neuenschwander
Certified Discernment Counselor | Based in Wayzata, MN
I'm trained and certified in Discernment Counseling through the Doherty Relationship Institute and specialize in helping couples in crisis. I bring compassion, structure, and insight to each session—so you both feel supported, whether you stay together or not.
All sessions are held in person in my Wayzata office.
Ready to Take the First Step?
Let’s explore whether Discernment Counseling is right for you.
Still Unsure?
Watch These Short Videos
Considering Separation?
Before making any major decisions, learn about Discernment Counseling—a unique approach designed to help couples find clarity on whether to continue their relationship or move toward separation.
Is Divorce the Answer?
If you're leaning out of your marriage, this video is for you. Even if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of working on the relationship, discernment counseling provides a safe, pressure-free space to explore your options without any expectations.
FAQ
How is this different from marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling assumes both partners are ready to work on the relationship. Discernment Counseling helps couples decide whether that work is the right next step.
What if my spouse doesn’t want to come?
Discernment Counseling requires both partners to participate. If your spouse is hesitant, a short conversation can help clarify whether it’s worth trying one session.
What happens after we request a consultation?
Once you submit the request, I’ll reach out to schedule a separate brief phone call with each of you. This gives each partner the chance to ask questions and make sure the process feels like the right fit. After that, if you both agree to proceed, we’ll schedule the first session.
