Discernment Counseling
Unsure About Divorce?
Discernment Counseling Can Help You Find Clarity
When one of you is leaning out and the other still wants to work on the relationship, Discernment Counseling offers a structured, short-term process to help you decide what comes next without pressure, blame, or rushing toward an outcome.
Feeling Stuck Between Staying and Leaving
Few decisions carry as much emotional weight as wondering:
“Should I stay in my marriage, or is it time to move toward divorce?”
Many couples arrive at this crossroads feeling stuck, exhausted, and uncertain, often with one partner leaning out of the relationship and the other leaning in. The tension between those two positions can feel unbearable.
You don’t have to sort this out alone.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is not traditional couples therapy. It is not focused on fixing the relationship right now.
Instead, it is a decision-making process designed to help couples gain clarity about which path makes the most sense:
Staying the same for now
Moving toward separation or divorce
Committing to a six-month period of focused couples counseling
The goal is not to convince either partner to stay or leave, but to help both of you make a thoughtful, grounded decision you can live with, whatever the outcome.
Discernment Counseling is designed for couples where:
One partner is seriously considering divorce
The other partner wants to preserve the relationship
Both are willing to slow things down long enough to seek clarity and make a respectful decision
What to Expect in Sessions
Brief & Focused
Discernment Counseling is intentionally time-limited. Most couples complete the process in one to five sessions, staying focused on clarity rather than drifting into open-ended therapy.
Structured Format
Each session includes individual conversations with each partner, along with time together to build understanding and reduce reactivity. This structure helps ensure both voices are heard.
Safe Support
Whether you are leaning in or leaning out, you can expect a steady, compassionate space where neither position is judged or pushed.
For the Leaning Out Spouse
You may feel overwhelmed, numb, or emotionally finished. You may be unsure what you want or simply sure you can’t keep living the way things are.
Discernment Counseling does not pressure you to fix the relationship or offer false hope. Instead, it gives you space to reflect honestly and responsibly.
“I help leaning-out partners find clarity without guilt, pressure, or false hope.”
For the Leaning In Spouse
You may want to repair the relationship but feel shut out, desperate, or afraid of saying the wrong thing. You may feel like you’re losing your partner and don’t know how to reach them.
Discernment Counseling helps you express what matters most. And to do it calmly, clearly, and without pushing your spouse further away.
“I help leaning-in partners express themselves with hope,
but without pushing.”
Meet Your Counselor
Chip Neuenschwander
Certified Discernment Counselor | Based in Wayzata, MN
I'm trained and certified in Discernment Counseling through the Doherty Relationship Institute and specialize in helping couples in crisis. I bring compassion, structure, and insight to each session—so you both feel supported, whether you stay together or not.
All sessions are held in person in my Wayzata office.
Ready to Take the First Step?
If you’re unsure what comes next, Discernment Counseling may help you slow the process down just enough to move forward with clarity.
Reach out to explore whether this approach is the right fit for you.
Still Unsure?
Watch These Short Videos
Considering Separation?
Before making any major decisions, learn about Discernment Counseling—a unique approach designed to help couples find clarity on whether to continue their relationship or move toward separation.
Is Divorce the Answer?
If you're leaning out of your marriage, this video is for you. Even if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of working on the relationship, discernment counseling provides a safe, pressure-free space to explore your options without any expectations.
FAQ
How is this different from marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling assumes both partners are ready to work on the relationship. Discernment Counseling helps couples decide whether that work is the right next step.
What if my spouse doesn’t want to come?
Discernment Counseling requires both partners to participate. If your spouse is hesitant, a short conversation can help clarify whether it’s worth trying one session.
What happens after we request a consultation?
Once you submit the request, I’ll reach out to schedule a separate brief phone call with each of you. This gives each partner the chance to ask questions and make sure the process feels like the right fit. After that, if you both agree to proceed, we’ll schedule the first session.
